Plea for Help

Thinking of trying a new pair of shoes.

My cousin gave me some words of wisdom. He is a life-long runner as well as multiple Boston qualifier - way under the time cut-off. I figured he may know a thing or two that all the medical professionals I have seen don't seem to be seeing.

So, I will dissect my running shoe history for you here. Well, the last three pairs at least.

Shoe #1

Trained for Shut-In last year - ended up with incredible shin splints and hip flexor injury, as well as bilateral hip bursitis and a right labral "abnormality"

Consideration: increased mileage exponentially compared to any time in the past, and basically only ran uphill and hard for 3 months.

Shoe #2

Bought right before I got injured, but minimally ran on them to avoid injury. This was my come-back-to-running shoe this winter and spring. I probably have about 350 miles on them. 

Shoe #3

I got these right after DuPont half. I got these because I wanted the newest model. It wasn't really time, but I had heard to have two pairs and switch them out occasionally was good for you. (And who can pass up an excuse to buy a new pair of running shoes?) 

Well, as I write this blog, my conscious reminds me that I also went barefoot, and that maybe should count as a shoe choice:

Shoe #4:

Shoeless (I'll spare you the picture of my bare feet.)

Late last summer, I was made orthotics by a physical therapist because I pronate. Apparently I even pronate some just standing there, AND I have really high arches. Okay then. So I was instructed to wear the orthotics day in, day out - until my shins healed. I did last summer.

Chaco's everywhere around me. My favorite sandal, there at home, in the shoe bin, begging to be taken for a stroll. My toes needed some air, but I was a good patient. Kept the orthotics in. ALL SUMMER.

Well, I got to thinking today. After my barefoot stint with running, I stopped wearing my orthotics in my work shoes. (Possible culprit 1) I need some new ones, after just 10 hours my toes start to hurt from being squished in them. When I don't use the orthotics, my toes have enough room. I would just wear another pair to work, but it's not that easy. My shoes don't walk around an office. They often walk through urine, "super-bug" contagious infections, vomit, poop, blood... you name it. Maybe I need new work shoes too.

Back to the story... I did get those horrible shin splints after the two weeks on road. (Possible culprit 2)

Another interesting discovery... When I put pressure on the lateral side of my foot (where the orthotic makes me go) my shin splint hurts very badly. When I put pressure on the medial side of my foot, like the ball of the foot, or even just that medial side, my shin barely hutrs. So, it the orthotic helping or hurting? Conflincting evidence, right?

Excuse me for a second... (ARRRRRRGGGHH!!!!!!)

So again. Back to the question. Do I...

1. Start wearing orthotics at work? (I guess?)

2. Get new work shoes? (ASAP)

3. Get new running shoes? (inconclusive)

4. Keep icing multiple times a day? (Y)

5. Take off until triathlon on Sunday? (Y)

6. Beg for any input from friends, no matter what background (non-medical)? (Y)

Does anyone see some puzzle piece that is in plain sight that I can't seem to see anymore?

2.16 miles of hell

So I tried something new.

In light of my upcoming inaugural triathlon, (in addition to the fact that I have worked and not done any exercise in 4 days), I decided to do a hard bike ride, then tack on a few miles running. I have done both before, but I always run first because I feel I would be less likely to be injured if I am running strong and biking weak. So...

When I bike, my right knee always gives me some weird trouble. I don't know how else to describe it. Occasionally my left has patellar pain too, it always goes away when I stop biking. So I went on my bike ride, a little after noon so it was hot as crap.

I have heard there is some threshold you meet at 90 minutes of exercise so I wanted to be running after I had reached that threshold. (I don't really know what I am talking about, I guess I need to do some research.) I ended up doing a little over 11 miles in 91 minutes (not overachieving here). Bike Portion Well, I took a little time in loading up my bike and switching shoes... and off I went.

My right knee felt like someone had put glue into the joint. It was incredibly stiff and painful. And it wasn't just that outer part that usually hurts when I run, it was the entire freaking joint. So, 0.11 in, I walked. I stretched that knee and popped it about 12 times, thinking this would loosen it up. Over the course of the 2.16 miles, I walked multiple times. My average pace was 10:30. Run Portion There goes my 22:00 5k after the swim and bike sections I was hoping for.

It was really frustrating. I wanted to keep running, but I was exhausted. I'd walk for a bit, then felt great, like I could run and actually pick up the pace, but about 75 steps in, I'd feel exhausted again. Every time. It was kind of funny, in a way. I hadn't had anything but breakfast, but I don't think that was it. That's a transition I am going to have to get used to. I wasn't too hard on myself though. It was a first, and that's how they go sometimes. It's good because it gives me something to work on.

And now for my quick ADHD pharagraph...

I don't really sweat incredible amounts - especially my face. Even if it's 90 degrees, I usually just bead up on my face. Today I don't know why, because it was only 83 or something, but I was pouring sweat. Come to think of it, I did drink my CamelBak dry. It was awesome though, I love to sweat. I drove a ways up Bent Creek Gap, and sat in the river for about 10 minutes to cool down my legs.

Therefore, my plan now, is to try and bike just even a little, before each run. I kept thinking of that triathlon I watched on Universal Sports. They were flying. I figure this will get me into incredible shape, because it totally kicked my ass today. We'll see.

Riverbound Race Series 15k

The 15k. I really enjoy this distance. It's long, but not too long. So, I had taken most of the previous three weeks off from running. I did a barefoot run (3 miles) about a week in and then last Wednesday tried out the legs with a 4 miler and then raced on Saturday. However, I had done a fair amount of mountain biking to supplement my fitness. My shins were suprisingly quiet during the entire race. The right knee got uncomfortable, but I have gotten used to that one.

I was excited about going to this race because of the people I would see. I was meeting my friend Brian, who I hadn't seen since the DuPont half. Christina would be there with a unique perspective, since it was also her wedding day. My 2nd and 3rd cousins Missy and Abby would also be there - racing the 5k. Coming back from three weeks off, I figured I'd just take my time, and enjoy the company.

Knowing the mistake that had made the 10k so miserable, I started slow. I did not try and get in front of anyone here. Brian and I ran together and caught up on eachother's running lives. We chatted races, injuries and experiences. It made almost 4 miles go by very easily. Brian also shared the pour-the-aid-station-water-on-your-head stragety. At first it felt weird, but Charlotte in July made it a necessity. It really helped me to keep my body temperature down! I was planning on taking my time, and enjoying this experience. At this time, the entire wave we were in began to slow. There was an article in one of the magazines I get, about the middle miles. Apparently this is a place where the miles slow for everyone. I was fine for a bit, but then got antsy so I picked up the pace, and continued on my own.

I started thinking about the middle miles at this point. I like them. They are what make a longer run a longer run. They are the ones that test you, and push you. I knew that they could also break me, so I tried out a stragety. If I was behind someone that I wanted to pass, I would see if I could "regain my breathing". (The phrase my head came up with.) If I was behind them and had breath control, I would be allowed to pass them. This stragety seemed to work well, and didn't let me get my ass kicked by trying to go too hard. There was no hurry, and I was running for the experience. (I had to put in the back of my mind the part of me that likes the push-until-you-drop-experience.) Basically this is how I completed the rest of the race. If my breathing got out of control, I'd slow my pace. I walked the steep hills. I didn't judge myself for it. I even decided to walk at mile 8 for 50 steps so that I could have a good finish. (I'm a counter.)

The race ends around the "river". It's out in the open. Once I got to this part, I was pretty tired. I had been pushing decently for nearly an hour and a half. I knew I didn't have much of a kick left in me. There was a guy on the side observing, so I asked him if anyone would be able to overtake me. He said "no - you're wide open". Ahhh. I just kept my pace until the end. I saw Abby and Missy on the side cheering and I smiled. I love my family!

It was a great race. I didn't have that horrible negative self-talk this time. I started slow and enjoyed the run. At the finish I had no idea how I'd done, and I didn't care too much. I had really enjoyed the run. When you're off for weeks, getting to do a long run is a gift. I'm actually looking forward to the half marathon. (I was dreading this run, just a bit, despite all the good people I knew I'd see.) Christina actually ended up getting sick at mile 4, and left to get ready for her wedding that afternoon. I also met Pearce, a new friend who discovered my blog while searching about the riverbound series. Brian ended up having a good race - I believe his injury stayed under control. Abby and Missy I believe had fun - and both finished 2nd in their age group.

I ended up 2nd in my age group. My time was 1:27:42. I think I was about 10 minutes behind the first girl in my age group. (wow!) I was pleased. It was fun and I enjoyed it. I hadn't run over 4 miles in weeks. Good run. I appreciate the gift.

Roads are my meat-grinder

So, the shin splints have gotten me. Again. (Ultimately why Shut-In didn't happen last year.) I had switched to a majority of roads for about two weeks, some to save gas, some to try and utilize my location for what it is, and some to run with my Smoky Mountain Relay friends. I'm not sure what actually did me in, but the roads, speed drills against my friend Marc, or different shoes could all be likely reasons.

I found myself having to back out of some races, and back off in others. I have decided to do just a half marathon in LeHigh Valley, and am not going to get the Triple Lakes run in at all. My friend Brenda has told me to pick the one I want to focus on, and not worry about the others. Easier said than done, but I'm trying.

I have been biking and hiking. I tried a barefoot trail run because I knew it'd make me go slow, and ended up breaking my toe. I have gotten up to almost 3 miles barefoot each run so I don't think it was anything to do with the shins, just the Universe telling me to keep resting.

It's heartbreaking. I don't feel like I have gotten the outdoor time I need, despite a 9 hour hike yesterday. I have discovered that it's not the outdoor time, it's the type of outdoor time. It's the running. It's the love of the feeling. So I am limiting myself - or trying to. Shut-In training starts the first of August. I got the email last week. Heal heal heal. Don't start with an injury. I'll run it fast or slow if healthy, but not if injured.

Here's to you, land of trails, may I run with you soon.

Downfalls of attempted organization

Training schedules are constantly evolving for me. In fact, I just read today in Running Times that they have a new training plan personalization feature. I'm going to check it out this week. My current training schedule (Hal Higdon) has me at four days a week. I picked this one initially because it focuses more on the mileage and less on speed work. (I love speed work. I've been told of injury risk and experienced  it once post session though. I really think I go too fast for my true abilities.) Anyhow, the point is, I don't stick to schedules well. The reasons vary day-to-day.

I usually run alone and I love running alone, but once every week or two, it's nice to have company. I was talking with one of my running partners last week about this, we were discussing how the opportunity can often disrupt a training schedule. He was rearranging for travel and I was rearranging for him. But... it's a fun opportunity. How does one not take it? Running in company has nice benefits. In a long run, it makes me go slower. I often chat during these long runs and when you can barely control your breathing, talking doesn't work so well.

I seem to hurt a lot. Injury hurt, or verge of injury hurt. (See: I'd rather be running) So I take a few days and cross-train. Then my schedule is completely thrown. I've been training through two pains for the last 5 months, but I am able to keep training with them if I do it right.

I run enthusiastically because I love it. If I am feeling good, I am going to go run 8 miles. If I feel good the next day, I will do the same. By the third day, I have realized this may be detrimental, and cut it down to a five-miler. Fourth day, I cannot walk comfortably and I have to take off 5 days. Ugh. Seems like I could go for some self-control. Yeah, well I have gotten better. That's why I finally tried to start sticking to my training schedule - which is how this whole post started. I found a good quote for this. "I prefer the folly of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom." - Anatole France

Another issue I have experienced is that I am not good at rearranging the week for races or schedule switch-ups. Races get me the most. They're always on long run day, and long run always gets sacrificed. So, I tack on a few miles to some other runs during the week. (The wrong thing to do, I know.)

I think this topic has come to be important to me because I am attempting to train for a marathon in early September. I don't feel I will be properly trained unless I follow the schedule. I am getting nervous about signing up for the full and am now considering the half. (But I'd love to do the full!)

I'll figure it all out. But for now... off for a run .. Ahhhhh.

I'd rather be running. Always.

Cross-training. Ugh. Kind of. Or, do I like it?

I'll start with the "ugh". As I have said before, I'd rather be running. It's free, it's happy, it's hard. It makes you sweat - and you can tell. (Unlike swimming.) I like going past people when I am running. I feel strong and powerful. I am proud of myself. When I am biking and I pass a runner, my soul wants to scream out to them, "I'm actually a runner!!! I'm just biking because I have to! I'm like you!!!". It feels kind of sad. I just want to throw down the bike and run in my Velcro clip-in shoes, just to get to run. I think the worst is hiking though. I very purposefully pull out the non-back-strap-Chaco's so that if I do get the urge to run, (or attempt to succumb to it) it isn't long before I remember the decision of these shoes was to keep me walking. Then, I hopefully don't use them as hand weights and run barefoot - but at least when I do, this slows my pace, since my feet are not yet tough enough to run at a decent pace. I remember last year when I was deep in the snake-phobia, I would be too scared to run. I would be walking painfully slow, anxiety-ridden, and tiptoeing. How I first got myself to run again was to bully myself into it. "If you're walking you're just a hiker! You're not a runner!" We can be so kind to ourselves. I identify with running, it's who I am.

Now to address the "kind of". One must see the advantages - otherwise there wouldn't really be an issue. [It's like a moo point, a cow's opinion. No one really cares. It's "moo". Thanks "Friends"] It takes away the impact. It switches up which muscle groups are used to make one a more well-rounded athlete. It gives the greatly-used running muscles, tendons, ligaments and joints a nice break. Cycling especially strengthens the knees. I'm not sure of all the advantages, but I can imagine they are innumerable. The bad side of "kind of" - at me least for me - is this: I have cardiovascular endurance that far outlasts the strength of my running bones, muscles, tendons etc. I could run on and on and on, but a pain always appears in the weaker parts of my running form. I believe this is a lot of why I get myself into trouble - in the form of an on-the-verge injury. I could easily keep going, if it didn't hurt! I feel I sit on this injury fence. I have thankfully learned to listen to my body (more) and will take a few days off and only cross-train, when I feel I am pushing over to the other side. Which unfortunately perpetuates this cycle, and fortunately keeps me fit. (Please note: This should be a link to the entry on why I can't stick to running schedules - the one I've been trying to write for a week.)

Finally, "Do I like it?". Hmmm. I think I do, but I say that hesitantly. (Please refer to "ugh") I do because I am not sitting inside somewhere. I do because I love to be active. It makes me stronger. It increases my confidence, especially swimming, because I know how - it's something I am good at. I am not a great mountain biker, but I'm getting better. I can do this on trails. I am outside! When I integrate other activities, I can be active every day. I am actually becoming a faster runner (somehow) on around 20 miles per week. Once up to 35, occasionally down to 8. I am a very inconsistent runner, because I love it so much, when I don't hurt, I do as much as I can... and therefore cause myself to hurt. But that's another topic.

Therein ends my spiel on cross-training. Mixed feelings, but like it or not, (sometimes both) it gets done. Thank God for my bike. Thank God for my goggles. Thank God for my legs.

What, may I ask, are you running from?

I don't know if I am alone here... I can't imagine that I am. I love to run trails. I would rather be running than doing anything else.

I usually run alone. I enjoy it. I can go the pace I want to go. I can go the distance I want to go. I can push myself too hard and complain later - and the only one to blame is myself. (Similar to living alone and leaving a pan in the sink, to be crustily found the next morning.) Usually at the beginning of each run, I have a talk with the Universe. I request to receive what the Universe believes I need. I request the unknown.

 

Sometimes I obtain peace, sometimes insight. Other times it is strength or power. I almost always obtain confidence. Sometimes it is a slew of memories, with the hope they are returning for me to be able to release them. I obtain tranquility. I obtain endurance. Sometimes it's anger, oftentimes it is fear. And sometimes, I just attempt to balance my budget.

Why would one run, if it oftentimes brings fear?

My runs that are flanked with fear, that leave me anxious and unnerved serve a purpose too. The Universe has its ways. I fear "scary wildlife and scary people", lightning, new injuries and whispers from injuries attempting arduously to heal. First of all, these runs, if continued on for enough miles, afford me the exhaustion to stop obsessing about the wildlife I think is at every corner. This is quite possibly the most enjoyable of the runs for me - once I reach this stage. Finally my mind just gives up - it can't afford the glucose of worry. I love running exhausted - for me, it is the absolute feeling of freedom. My friend Alex works closely to individuals who suffer with OCD. He explained to me once, that a way of desensitization, is to repeatedly do the thing that annoys the hell out of them, so sooner or later, their mind stops keeping count. I basically desensitize my fear with miles of exhaustion. I feel the more fear I experience while doing something I love, the more I love the lessons fear affords, and the less fear encroaches on my everyday life.

When some find out running has our hearts, they jovially ask us what we are running from. Myself, I laugh and speak of my love of the task. I get frustrated at their question. Why must all runners have skeletons in their closet? Maybe not all do. However, when I really think about their question, my answer may include a variety of answers in any given minute.

Well, since you ask, I run from incorrect grammar, heart disease, life patterns, diabetes, carbonated beverages, failure, bears, fear, perfectionism, bad jokes, shyness, dementia, laziness, anxiety, my love of puns, substances, weakness, cancer, being ordinary, snakes, memories, close-talkers, grouse, obesity, 90-degree angles, anger, darkness, tears, race shirts that are too large and a million other things. Basically, I guess I run from being human - a perfect human.